The end is near…

Its a long time since such pictures arouses me. No thats not my wife, i wish she would be… ok shes a X-Box Gamer but this is ok, more pPaystation time for me and i also like the choice of the Sennheiser Headset. Did you know that Sennheiser, the famous german Audio Specialist now does not make gaming Headsets any longer? They passed the Service to EPOS Audio and their Headsets are great…

…yeah i also recognized that the underwear of the model should be from Calvin Klein and i am verry disappointed that such things come to my mind when i look at the picture of a beatufil women. there were times my trousers would get verry tight when i would look at a sexy gamer girl but my life is another. I am actually just 42 years old but my sexlife is completely empty. Even an average japanese man. The country where man have the saddest sex life in the world, so polls tells us, have 37 times a year sex with their woman. I think i should move to japan and marry a sexy asian girl. Not only that they are verry beautiful, if i would get 37 times a year my sex life would explode.

Yes i am not really a verry beatiful man but my wife is worse i think. I don´t selected her cause she is so super pretty or so super sexy or cause of her F-Cup is selected her for my wife, cause she was a girl that laughs with me, that had fun in her life and that showed me how much she loved me. Yes of course there are many many girls out there that are more sexy, more beautiful and that could arouse with just a simple ara ara into my ear, yes i am that simple, life made me that simple.

It may be shocking to you but yes i want to have sexy time with my wife that offends me where she can and from that i think that she doesn´t love me anyway. But i think she has a completely other problem and i think it´s not that simple that i am really not of any interest for her, cause when it comes to sexy time, she is able to enjoy it one or two hours and it makes her happy everytime. I don´t want to raise myself but i think i would recognize if she would lie to me that she enjoys ist.

I may be not the most intelligent man on earth and i also don´t want to claim that i understand woman but i think i know whats wrong with my wife. She weights over 150 kilograms, thats about 330 pounds and noone can think this is sexy, me to. I don´t think my wife is sexy and i don´t love her body, it´s really a problem to have sex with a person thats that heavy, especially when you do not have a big black dick thats long like others forearm. Ok my wiener is quite german average but with this average i would only dip my head in, cause there will be so much flesh in the way. But son´t let us talk about how fat people have sex, just let us talk about why fat people could have no sex.

I think my wife knows that her body is really everything axcept beautiful or handsome. That will be one Problem, the other Problem is that she is not really tall, so the weight is more challenging to handle than with a person that is 8 inch taller, she knows this, cause for example 69 is no longer an option as long as my dick doesnt grow 10-15 inches over night, otherwise she would not reach me cause her stomache is in the way. You can also imagine that there are many positions that are no option for us, cause someone could just suffocate in between. I think thats one of the things she has in mind when undressing. It maybe one reason why only with turned of lights something could happen.

Also i could imagine that just i am too ugly and she doesn´t want to see me during sex, but than i think our sexlife wouldn´t have been much better years ago. It just got worse since we are married. The time before the marriage was nice and sexy. Ok she weights a lot less than now but i am married and i don´t want to cheat on her so she´s the only option at the moment. Even if there maybe more desireable options out there it doesnt mean in good and in bad times, when you cheat on the first chance. OK i must admit i don´t really know if i would, i never had the chance to cheat on her, i am not that beautiful that other woman feel totally attracted for me and even if i had the chance i think i wouldn´t realize it, cause i would never think that a woman wants to do it with me. Maybe i have some psycological issue too in this case, but i could think that this is just another thing my wife wants. Just let me explain…

I do not think that my wife is intelligent. Thats not a problem, cause she was not dumb when i married her, actually i feel that neither i get more intelligent or my wife looses her intelligence a lot, but thats really again another Post, nothing we need to talk about actually. Just as Background i don´t think she is verry smart, therefore she believes too much shit in social media, too much false information and too much things that just couldn´t be true when you think about it, but i don´t think she is emotionally dumb.

I think that someone or something in her brain says that when she hold me away as long as possible, than my abilities in bed will shrink, and thats true, thats happening. That i don´t want to cheat is just not only cause i would be too dumb to recognize whats happening, its alos because i would know that it would be a verry verry short story. There had been times were 12 times a day were not a problem for me and sessions about 2 hours were standard but actually when my wife chooses oral i can last for about 5 minutes when i am happy. She uses her handy, maybe 5-10 minutes if i have a good day. I would fear that when there is a super beautiful woman, sexy and willing to spend time with me i would be much much faster. That would make me nervous and unsure and that would not really help lasting a bit longer, and really, cheating for 2 Minutes of fun… god gave me hands…

I don´t know if she does this with an real ulterior motive but i think at least unconsciously it´s the target to sabotage my sexual skills till i would not cheat cause it wouldn´t give me satisfaction. Why risking a marriage for 2 minutes that will left me unsatisfied and only pumped empty, what i could do myself better and without the need to pay for a dinner or some drinks. I dont think that i am pretty enough and i am not sexy enough that anytime a girl comes to me and asks for some sexy time… not that may happen in my dreams but not in reality…

So i think that my wife did a good job, every year there is one time less we have some fun together in bed, and last year we were at 3 times, ok it were 4 times but i don´t count it when its 2 days in a row, i am just amazed when such things happen, maybe she had some drugs this day, this only happend when we first met, long before our marriage. So last year it had been 3 times, the year before it was 4 times, and this year i count with 2 times, i think she wants to break the habit till we will never have anything again.

My wife already ruined Christmas for me, not only cause she ignores my wishes and ignores me, she also will ruin sex for me and i don´t know why… christmas she ruined just cause she is lazy and ignorant, maybe i worked to much and thats the way she shows me her hate but the sex thing… she has an excuse everytime i try, even the only fact i try is most of the times a fault. I don´t know what i should do with this wife…

…i think the end is near, the complete end of my sexual life. I am actually 42 years old and i am not the sporty guy, so its harder to have fun every year and i don´t want to accept the fate of never having good sex again in my life again… what reason do i have to live anymore…

… even if i get divorced i will never find my anime gamer girl for live … and isekai are not real, even when i look cool as an anime charakter… take a look… in an anime i wouldn´t be that ugly… (below) but in reality a 42 year old nerd with self complexes, gaming addiction and less self-consciousness than a child when it comes to woman or sexy things, i think i will ever stay alone. But really when i think about i will write another post why i think i would end as a single nerd dying alone in front of his console without any other people and why this sounds not that bad for me… just hang on, there are now 2 posts i want to write, this will take some time…