If you have already read my post why i run this blog, than maybe you have recognized that i already told you that i am a bit older than most of the people running a blog. And of course i have no Problem running a blog cause i just want to. actually there maybe some people out there who wants to know who i am, maybe…
…if there is really someone out there who wants to know more about me than i am just in the mood to talk a bit about me, so you may be able to imagine a bit more about the person that runs this open diary. I think blogs have become more magazine style like websites and less the things that they were made for, i just want to go back and share feelings and thoughts with you cause i really like this tradition. So you maybe able to follow me and you may be able to get your own picture about who i am. but long story short let us come to the facts…
I am a man, born more than 40 years ago, in the good 70´s… but i didn´t stuck there. I got a good education at shool, and become a chemical operator after my shool times. I was born and raised in germany, so maybe you will not understand everything i talk about, then just ask if you want. In germany life´s another one, than in other countries, but it´s also verry similar to a huge ammount of shit that happens all around the world. But thats all other posts you may read in the future.
During my childhood i had several dreams. One of this was to be a great skater but due to my knees that was never an option. I was born with both knees defective. My english may be not the best here, i look completely normal and my knees are ok now, but there were two hughe operations in my childhood that needed to be done cause my kneecap was nearly free movable in my knees. That effected some funny looking accidents during shool sport and so i needed to get this corrected. Now i am overweight cause i coulnd´t live sports in my childhood and loosed every interest in sport. I was forbidden to make sport or heavy activities since i was 8 or 9 years old, just till i got 14 or 15, so i never really liked sport, cause everything i experienced during sport was not funny. First i had accidents, fall to the ground verry often and noone wanted me, for example in a soccer team, than i got to fat to be really sporty and the same thing repeats, noone wanted me in their teams or doing anything sport like with me cause i was too slow, too heavy, didn´t fit or anything else. So i really lost every interest.
One of my best hobbys soon become cooking. I really like cooking and i really enjoy eating, also i enjoy a good beer, so you can imagine that this will leed to a couple of problems if you combine a non interest in sport, not even watching it in TV, and a desire for really good cooking, baking and drinking. Yeah now i am fighting my weight everyday. actually i weight around 150 kilogramms but i am not really one of those guys sitting around, doing nothing, just writing, gaming, watching tv…. ok i am, but i am also able to do my job, it´s a job where i am at the fresh air, i need to work hard and i can burn a lot of calories, so i am not a lazy couch potatoe, i am a couch potatoe with ambitions
My life sometimes seems to be a complete mess but i am well organized. I am a person that looks into the future… ok it´s not a really desirable future, but i look forward to it and try to do my best for the future i can. Actually i have a couple of hobby that i can´t let go, so i am a gamer and a complete tech nerd. I really like innovations and will be the first to buy them, if i will be able to afford. I am one of the last real gamers, that enjoy games like they were made and not cause they look better on one or another console. I am using everything i want to play games, maybe my playstations, x-boxes, nintendo consoles, my pc and virtual reality headsets but i have more than this one, really not cheap, hobbys.
I also like to take photos. I of course still like cooking and baking, especially bread, and i also like other things like repairing or building things. Not only tech things, but i am slo able to repair a broken software like i am able to repair a broken pc or console. I am able to build home things too, i already build a 275 inch long light installation for the entrance of our flat. But i have the Problem that i always try to start too many things at once, so i get in trouble finishing things. Maybe a typicall problem when you want to be a good man. But i really enjoy doing things on my own, cause it gives me good feeling having saved money, repaired things, saved a bit of the environment with not throwing away anything but just fixing it.
I try to help everybody as good as i am able to, thats a thing i think thats really important in life, helping each other. But life told me not to do too much for anybody, without getting back anything in advance cause you will be disappointed everytime. Normally i am a guy with a huge hearth for a lot of people but that illness is cured in the past years.
I am working for a hughe industrial employee where i am responsible for loading and unloading tank cars or the rail. sorry my professional english in work related topics is not really the best, i was never in the situation that i would need work related english skills… except for my other work, a gaming magazine that i run, but thats not industrial topics 😉
So you now know what i am doing all the day, running around, loading and unloading liquid gas on tank trains in every weather condition 24/7. Yeah i am working in full shift, so i work on weekends and holidays too. It´s a work that gives good money, and thats the reason i do it. In my free time i use to have some fun with my hobbies, writing, you may have recognized, fotographing things, biking a bit and of yourse gaming a lot of. I enjoy single player games, as a worker in full shift, you have problems getting groups for games so i enjoy sinlge player campains more than any fortnite or call of duty match.
I am also a person that enjoys movies, series and shows, as long as they are interesting. Its a bit funny what when i think about what makes me happy, sometimes it´s the story of Raymond Reddington in “The Blacklist” sometimes i enjoy Natsu´s adventures in “fairytail”, the other day i really love to watch a hughe blockbuster like “Avatar” but i was also a hughe fan of the little hidden moments in “The Ninth Gate”. Movies and Series that are always welcome are things like Harry Potter, Star Trek, Stargate, Conan, just everything thats around fantasy and science fiction. I just wanted to clarify that i am not only looking such movies, i am also a great fan of good other stuff, it hasn´t to be the next Chapter of “Stranger Things” it could also be the next Season of “Doctor who” or “messiah” that can really impress me. there´s so much good stuff out there. Just the Anime thing is a small problem, i only watch anime in my mothery tounge, in german and so many people think i am a heretic cause they only watch them with the original japanese sound. Most of the times i watch movies and series in bed, so i have no real ambition to concentrate a much, i just want to be entertained a bit, not brain teased…
Compleex was a good word, cause it let me think about the next episode about me. I am a verry complex person, so i also like complex things. I am really not good in simple things, this was in shool a real problem cause i had really hughe issues with simple tasts like in math. Give me simple problem and the chance i fail is high but give me a complex thing and i will be interested, i will be really into finding a way solving the problem. That maybe the calculation of the just made shopping list. The chance i have not enough money cause my calculation was wrong is, i would say about 20-30%, so i try to use a calculator for such simple thing, but ask me how much the shopping list, got more expensive in percentage over the last 3 month, and i will soon be able to present you a flipchart presentation about the products you should replace in the future with cheaper ones, directly out of my brain.
OK, ok, ok, maybe that sound a bit weird, i am not that weirdo, but its a small peak of how my brain and my life works. I will be able to forget my own birthday if i would not be reminded by my wife, coworkers, vacation or just my mobile phone but when anybody sends me an invitation to a brithday party i will think about a present for maybe two or three weeks, collect ideas, analyze what the person is into at the moment abd really thik about it. Thats cause i think the real worth of a present is not it´s costs but the thoughts you made and how good it fits.
For an example, if my wife would listen to what i say she would know that a used PS4 game of Sword Art Online for example would be worth much more for me than a new PS5 game. A good Steak, a pohotography course or a trip to a VR Café would be also much more worth than a sixpack of craft beers i maybe not enjoy. It´s about the feelings that a present can transmit, that makes it worth more than anything else, not the price. But maybe i am the only one thinking about such things…
Call me arrogant! But i think i am a good guy, one of those that don´t look like Bodybuilders, that are not training everyday, that have weight issues, ok i have really hughe weight issues, but nothing that can´t be solved. I am not good looking, i think i am ugly, i found myself ugly for sure, but maybe it´s my broken mind that talks this way. The hughe problem is that people around me are not able to understand what i am doing for them and i get nothing in advance when i help them for free. The last time i spend 2 weeks building a computer for a coworker the only thing i got was that he lends a ps4 game that i´ve never seen again in the past 2 years. He never returned it and never hold his promise to pay for the work i had done… just because i said, give me what you think my work was worth…
I think i deserve better, but maybe i am mentally ill to think so and maybe i am a horrible physchopath to think that it is not ok to be treated like shit, but thats the reason i write this down here…
Now you can imagine a bit more about the person that writes this blog and maybe you can already imagine what happens here and why i need this Blog to get a bit rid of my thoughts. I already feel that it may help a bit…
