it´s 27.08.2022, the last day of Gamescom for business. You may know about europeans largest gaming exhibition, the gamescom in cologne. Now i may admit that cologne is not that far from where i live so i am at gamescom every year. Ok the last 2 years there were no gamescom, so it was a very special event to see gamescom happening again. But today was the last day i visit gamescom, just because i am no fan of hughe masses of people. Maybe i have a problem, maybe it´s because of a thing that happend in my childhood, but this is really another story. For now, just say it´s fine that gamescom is over for me and we let all the people enjoy the show that are not press.
I may have already told you that i run a gaming magazine, a german gaming magazine that provides good reviews and the truth… we are not buyable, we won´t be unfair to publishers but we also won´t be unfair to our readers, cause they, maybe you too, are the most important thing for us. So it´s a pleasure to visit gamescom the first 3 days and make appointments with publishers, seeing the business area, where are much less people than in consumer area. I also enjoyed talking to publishers, PR-People and also developers to directly talk about games. This is just more interesting than playing a game.
For example, today we had a verry interesting appointment at EPOS Gaming. They mostly make Audio stuff and now they are planning some new things. I will spoil here, cause i don´t think it´s a hughe secret. The GSR 1000, an audio control device will become a second, much imprived Version, just take a look if you really like to have control about your audio Settings and like cool, Sith-like, consoles for audio steering. They will also bring a 4K camera, portable, in a acase with USB-C, a really, really cool looking thing for an fair price. But we also talked about surround Sound. This is an interesting topic, cause many people think Sourround sound needs more speakers, even in a Headset, more Speakers.
For example, we talked about Headsets with Speakers all around your ear. At the first Moment it sounds pretty clear, that a sound that is played in front of your ear must come from the front, but thats wrong. The Headset in the Picture, the Tiamat 7.1 from Razer, is a cool and really worthy Headset, but surround Sound is made another way. It´s made how ears really work. To make a good Surround Sound you will need to calculate what way is your sound taking, how much is the noise lowered and how much later the sound arrives at the ear that is away from the source of sound. That quite interesting but only the thing i want to tell you, what amazes me at gamescom. Such things, you learn, you have never heared about.
So gamescom is a verry special time in the year. My time off from work is always at gamescom. There are 3 appointments i need vacation, the gamescom, the birthday of my woman and my own birthday, in that order. So you can imagine that i can sorry to my wife that i need to go to work but noone will give me the time back for gamescom, will wait for me or will give me information or samples if we don´t talk about this. This is my side gig, where i earn a lot of money a year, so it´s verry important.
Today i wan not alone at gamescom. In the picture above you see one good friend and co-worker in my main job and in the future also in my side-gig. He bought really a lot of merch this year, it was his first gamescom. Just let me say that others buy a new Television, a car or live a month of what he payes, and so it became that i also talked to my women about that fact. You see her hair on the picture on the head part of the seat where my co-worker sits.
We needed to stay 4 hours without anything to do at gamescom. This was, cause i got a present from an UK Publisher, a Television. It´s normal, they come from the UK, order some cheap Televisions for gamescom and gift them away after the shows, only cause they don´t want the work with customs and others. Espacially UK people may have some issues with that. Also they came probably with verry light luggage, so they just don´t want to carry all the TV´s. It´s normal that this happens, but this year it hits us to collect a TV. So we waited 4h in the car till the rest of their appointments were done. Then we had to go there and collect a nearly brand new TV, 4K, UHD, 43 inch. Not verry expensive, but a present is a present, you don´t ask for price, we are verry grateful here.
So whats now wrong? You idiot got some spare time, relaxing in a car with air conditioning, got a 43 inch 4K, UHD Smart TV as a gift, so what can make your day so bad, that it´s worth an article?
Yes you are right, nothing should kill my good vibes, but i didn´t start to write about my wife, you do not know here by now. She should also be proud that her husband got such a beautiful gift, that we could make to money for example. I beg she was already counting the packs of chips and chocolate she could buy for the money. I wouldn´t even wonder if she would have it already put up on social media for sale…
…ok by now you could also say… why so serious, why so negative, why don´t you trust your wife a bit more? It´s because i showed here the photo above. I was jsut amazed that my, relatively new co-worker, earned so much he could afford to buy a helmet like this for 149€ so we talked about that he had already spend more than 600€ at gamescom, more than we could afford for living a month.
When my wife saw the photo of my co-worker i showed here, she wasn´t just nodding her head. She recongnized that the seat was put a bit backwards, to get a more comfortble position. So she started yelling at me. She screamed how anyone could dare to touch the seat she is sitting in. It would take month to find the right sitting position now and she screamed roundabout 20 minutes her hate out.
After she treathend me i shouldn´t take position for this natural born asshole of a bastard child, that could dare to set the seat back a bit, to relax, everything was fine again. She completely doesn´t mention it anymore, avoided talking about.
Normally you would do a discussion if there´s a problem, but not for me, i just get yelled at, got threatend that she would hit everybody involved in this and she really screamed the hell out of it, using every bad word she might know, i need to accept that now, nothing happend. I am just writing this sentence here at 00:50 in the evening and she just asked me about the correct model of the TV. I think she wanted to know what it´s worth. We already talked about what should happen with the TV but i already said that i just want to sleep a night over this.
It may be not the most expensive model, ok it´s just one of the cheapest already, it costs about €279,- at the electronic discount, but i waited 4 hours in the car. I was running roundabout 3 Kilometers with the TV in its packaging, through a hughe horde of people, which is pure stress for my head and hearth. My wife knows this but this is not worth talking about. At least it´s not a piece of cake carrying a TV that way, through people and heat. Don´t get me wrong, i wasn´t dying or such a thing but it was a way my wife wouldn´t have gone. She had been much to lazy waiting 4 hours on a present and then collecting it herself, carrying it all around Kölnmesse Building.
So i thought i would get at least a “well done” or “good loot”, but not to get yelled and treathend for doing such a thing. Normally i wanted to show you more things, from my memories, i wanted to tell you more about my feelings and what it does to me, how i´ve been treated all the years, but that should have time. I just wanteds to start in roundabout a week, but this day forced me to write this down.
I don´t feel good with this, and as i am writing this sentences it feels like i could cry, cause again, it may be the first really personal article, but for me it feels like a stab from behind, when such things happend. Maybe it´s because she so angry and ungraitful that i only spend 35€ on 2 plushies for her on day two and got her only a pair of funny socks on day one, they was also gifted to me. I know it wans´t my fault that i didn´t stop my co-worker from getting the seat back, cause he didn´t asked if it was ok, but really, who asks if we say… lets go to the car, put the seats back and relax a bit… but for what i earned a 20 minute yelling period how dumb i am and how bold it is that anyone touches HER Seat. Its HER car she yelled…
In fact, the car is registered on her name cause i have a couple of financial issues to solve and i don´t want a discussion about the price of my car or anything else. So it´s easier if the car is registered on her name. But now she really claims the ownership, yelling at me, how anyone could be so bold to dare touching her seat. I explained her that she could move her fat ass out of the couch, work, make a driving license and then, maybe then, when she payes the insurance, pays the gas, the car and the repairs, then she could call it HER car. But mybe i just thought about saying such things in response, cause i didn´t want to continue her hatered yelling…
Now i hat myself for didn´t yell back, i hate myself cause i really wanted to give her a punch in her face to let her feel the pain she causes to me (i wouldn´t ever do this, but i really wanted to, normally i just left the room), and i also feel back because of this shit fucking Seat in the car, i am also feeling bad about gamescom now, and i am feeling bad cause i will need roundabout 2-3 days to finish all the articles i now need to write out of the things i´ve seen, heared and talked about and i know, that will cause issues again and she will get angry again….
I am also angry about letting her ruin these 3 days for me, that i had waited 3 years for expierencing them again. Actually it helps a bit writing about, but now i am down, really down i mean. She´s out with a Neighbour on a walk and i could just cry now but i won´t man don´t cry and i didn´t cry at the death of my dad, nor my mum, dying in my arms. I just feel worthless for a couple of days and then forget about it… i hope…
